A couple of our friends moved to a beautiful part of the state where homes are less expensive and better, along with schools, than they are here; so my wife and I have been inspired to make a similar move to that region. It's about 4 hours away.
Well, the other couple is quite miserable being apart, as the husband still needs to work downstate while awaiting a transfer. They are depressed about the separation on both ends.
If my wife and I land a home there, we will be in the same boat. She will move there with our daughter to start school, and I will stay downstate for at least a few months awaiting a transfer of sorts in the new region. I will be there every weekend and use up accrual days to try to stretch the weekends whenever possible.
But now my wife, seeing our friends, is worried if she, too, will have separation issues.
Meanwhile, I'm kind of looking forward to the break, as she can be quite needy. Maybe she will learn some self-reliance.
Are my feelings wrong? Don't lots of married couples -- maturely -- spend time apart; for example truck drivers, military, etc., etc.?|||My friends who have needy wives are constantly being rung on the cell phone. We can't go anywhere without them getting a call every half hour. "Honey, how many pork chops should I buy. I can always freeze them." While we are at a NASCAR race or something. That's what you are up for if you are apart for three months.|||thats making your relationship strong. first find a home and then get transfered so she wont loose out and you wont loose out|||He may also have been looking forward to it, but reality set in after a little time.
In a couple, who has made the right choices, and found that person who truly compliments them, a symbiotic relationship develops also on the physical level. There is a reason why humans were designed to be monogamous. It comes down to the sexual experience that goes beyond pleasure and reproduction.
Seminal plasma (fluid carrying semen) and vaginal fluids contain addition chemicals that the other sex needs. Chemicals in seminal plasma help strengthen the Uterine Wall, not only making it stronger for the carrying of a fetus, but also because the uterus provides physical support for other organs, such as the bladder and the intestinal tract. For males, vaginal fluid reinforces their immune system and affects future production of semen. But, there鈥檚 a downside.
The human body adapts to the specific molecular makeup of the seminal plasma and vaginal fluid. The two bodies develop a symbiotic relationship that becomes dependent upon the other. Having multiple partners keeps these functions in constant disarray, always trying to adapt to a new molecular makeup, affecting the overall health of the individual.
This is one of the reasons, and benefits, of developing a long term monogamous relation. For men, there are additional reasons.
A married male lives 20 years longer than a single male, on average. Aside from the physical symbiosis, because a woman provides emotional support, he has less stress, an overall cause of frequent death in males.
For a female, her reproductive and sexual health last longer, not only with the ability to reproduce into her 40s and even 50s, but also continue the ability for sexual pleasure well into the later years.
A monogamous couple become a single, symbiotic unit, standing ready to take on what the world throws at them. They provide the umbrella of strength for the family and the protection of the children. They are core from which the children draw their knowledge and experience of what a family should be, so that they may follow the example of the parents, when they reach maturity and venture out into the world.
This is what it is truly like to be in a relationship, when you make the right choices.|||I don鈥檛 think its a good idea to tell your wife that you think this is a good idea because she is needy. Separations can be both a blessing and a curse. I am a military wife, and have been through two deployments and numerous weeks through out the years of training when my husband is away, the time apart can be nice it can help us to rekindle the relationship. It take more work to keep a relationship strong when your not together and but the times you are together are amazing it makes the time apart bearable. Now the bad thing about times apart they can amplify your problems and you may find that you would rather stay apart鈥?. I have seen this happen too many times to count. You both have to decided if you are willing to put the work in to keep the relationship strong distance is hard, talk about your fears (or your wife鈥檚) and think about what buying this house will mean you鈥檙e your family and decided if it is worth it. Good luck!|||There's NO reason why this just couldn't work out for you. As you stated, there could/would be times where you could take a long wk. end %26amp; be w/your family %26amp; it's not that bad. It's not like it would be for "forever". Yes, "truckers", "salespeople" also are on the road for periods of time, so that might not be as bad as you all think in the long run. It's rough moving %26amp; being separated, but like I said, it's NOT forever, %26amp; it IS "doable". IF it's going to save you money in the long run, be in a nice area, what the heck do you have to loose. At lots of times in our lives we DO have to sacrifice for the things we want. But in the end, it's all worth it. Plan some long wk. ends w/them, do things together, %26amp; you'd have a LOT to look forward to after you're all finally together. Yes, it all does make sense...Best to you...:)|||Umm. A lil advice, when asking something like this a screen name might help. Anyway.. Its totally normal and will most likely make your relationship much stronger. I am leaving for 10 days soon and I am looking forward to it as well. 1. because I hope that missing each other will make our love stronger, 2. will make sex better. distance makes the heart grow fonder. Ohh and when I first met my husband, I went away for 5 days, during that time we realized that we were in love each other and got engaged a month later.
--Papa Bear thats a cool post.|||You give me the impression that you don't really like your wife...Check your morals and agendas.|||I can understand your feelings. Maybe too well, because I understand the part of wanting to be away from your spouse more than most. I would be all giddy with excitement if my spouse announced he was leaving for 3 months. Yippee! Now, is that a good thing? Well, no, not if you're in love with your spouse and want a close, loving relationship. I've finally had to admit the futility of that ever happening for me. It took me a very, very long time, too!
Okay, now, back to you. You have hope of some day having a closer, happier marriage, but right now you're still working out some of the kinks, sorting through issues, solutions and compromises. So, you are looking at things from a different perspective than I am. I think that for you and your wife, this will be a good test for your marriage. It has the potential of strengthening the bonds, as well as the bonus of teaching your wife some self-reliance. You could end up appreciating and trusting each other more, and have greater acceptance, understanding and respect for each other. The negative side to this is, if your marriage is already weak, this could break it. It's really up to the two of you whether it drives you apart or brings you closer.
My husband was a business executive turned truck driver. I don't think the fact that he was away a lot had anything to do with the downfall of our marriage. If anything, I believe that is responsible for us staying married so long. His behavior caused our marriage to fail, and his being away is why I could put up with it for so long.
A strong marriage can survive anything, but both people have to work at it.
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